Ever wondered why people become swingers? It’s an interesting topic. Many people who aren’t into swinging assume that swingers are sex-crazed people who love to get naked, beaten and whipped.
I’m not saying any of that isn’t true (lol!), but it’s certainly not the sole reason most people become swingers.
Speaking for myself, swinging gave my partner and me a bit of an outlet in our relationship. It gave us the chance to come up for air a bit, to spice things up and to take things in a different, exciting direction. For us, this was important as we both love trying new things, and we’ve both always been interested in the idea of open relationships.
Of course, everyone is different. But if you’re at all even a tad curious about the weird and wonderful world of swinging, join me as I take a look at..
15 Common Reasons Why do Couple Swings
1. It’s a Good Way To Make New Friends
You’re an adult, which means you know how hard it is to make new friends.
As the comedian Jerry Seinfeld observed, all kids have to do is leave the front door, see another kid and be all like “Hey! You love running across the road? So do I! Let’s be friends!”
Adults have it much, much harder because there are fewer opportunities, and most people already have their close (and small) circle of friends.
Swinging is a fantastic way to meet more people who are on your level. I’ve met numerous friends from swinging – friends who I even consider close.
2. It Puts a Bit of Spice Back In Your Sex Life
Perhaps the most common reason people become swingers is to put a bit of spice back into their flagging sex life. This was undoubtedly chief among my reasons. If you still love your partner but wish the sex could be better, swinging can help to get things back on track.
It’s weird, but having sex with someone else, and watching your partner have sex with someone else, can reignite your passion for each other.
3. It Allows You To Explore Your Wildest Sexual Fantasies
Swinging can do more than put a bit of spice back into your sex life – it allows you to explore your wildest, craziest sexual fantasies.
Let’s face it, anyone who says they haven’t fantasised about sex with someone other than their partner is lying. Everyone had! Swinging gives you both the chance to act out those fantasies for real, and this – as strange as it will sound to some people – can actually bring you and your partner closer together.
4. Swinging Builds Trust
When you go swinging, you and your partner set boundaries and ground rules. And you trust them not to break those rules.
Swinging takes trust to the absolute edge. In this way, it enhances the bond between the two of you.
5. Swinging Is “Rebellious”
I must admit that I don’t find swinging rebellious anymore. I’ve been to countless Swinger parties, had sex with numerous couples and single women, and it just feels natural to me now. It’s simply a part of who I and my partner are.
But when you first start swinging, it does feel like you’re breaking the rules and being ‘different’ to what society expects of you. And for some couples, this is all part of the thrill and one of the reasons they become swingers in the first place.
Also Read: How To Find & Meet Swingers Near You
6. Swinging Can Help You Get Your Sex Drive Back
It’s very frustrating when one partner has a high sex drive, but the other has a very low sex drive. Such incompatibility can be a relationship killer.
Rather than let an uneven sex drive kill the relationship, some couples turn to swinging.
7. Some Couples Like To Feel a Bit Jealous
I once asked a couple why they swing and they told me it’s because a little bit of jealousy is a) harmless and b) a major turn-on.
Sure enough, you’ll find that some couples who swing do it because they want to feel a bit jealous of their partner.
And instead of having to deal with their partner cheating behind their back, swinging means they can control the situation to a certain extent.
8. Because Sex Isn’t Emotional For Everyone
Sex is emotional to me but not everyone sees it this way. To some, sex is just sex – it’s pure lust and passion.
As such, while some couples would never dream of letting their partners cosy up to a so-called best friend (because that would be way too emotionally draining), they would totally go swinging and let their partner have the wildest sex of their life with someone else.
9. Swinging Is Super Fun
Has Halloween gotten boring for you?
You might want to give swinging a try. The costumes are scary and sexy as hell.
Swinging is a blast. It’s fun! The costumes, the nudity, the sex … it’s like a regular party but 10X.
10. Swinging Is More Than Just Sex With Strangers
Swinging is all about community. You don’t just have sex with a total stranger, go home and have a shower. Instead, you make friends and proper, genuine connections, some of which last a whole lifetime.
For some, this is the big draw of swinging.
11. Sex Isn’t The Same Thing As Marriage
I’ve known some couples who see marriage as being a lifetime bond between two people who have committed to love each other, be there for each other and raise their children together.
However, sex isn’t part of that commitment. As such, they reason that because sex and marriage aren’t mutually exclusive, swinging is perfectly fine.
12. Some People Love To Watch
Are you a voyeur?
If you are, swinging might be for you.
Yup, there are plenty of swingers who get off watching their partner have sex with someone else. Most ‘regular’ couples might argue this is just darn weird. But you know what? You’ve got to do whatever works.
Swinging is magic if you’re a voyeur, BUT mot sex parties prefer it if you engage in sex, too.
13. Monogamy Doesn’t Work For Everyone
Sure, lots of people are in happy, committed monogamous relationships. But monogamy doesn’t work for everyone.
My partner and I loved each other dearly, but there eventually came a time when we knew in our hearts that monogamy just wasn’t us. We needed some variety in our life – we needed different people.
And so, like many others just like us, we started to explore swinging. It opened our eyes to the fact that many people around the world are polyamorous at heart.
14. To Save Their Kids
It might sound odd to some, but there are couples for whom the spark has died. Because there are kids involved, they decide to stay together – and swinging helps. Instead of feeling completely trapped, the couple stays together for the kids but enjoy sex with other people.
15. To Save The Relationship
Lastly, some couples become swingers to save their broken relationship.
Let me say that I (and many, many others) disagree with doing this. If your relationship is fractured, swinging will not heal it. Instead, it’s a much better idea to take couples therapy and see where things can go from there.
But, believe me: Watching your spouse have sex with someone else will just make things worse. It’s a desperate last resort and it rarely (if ever) works.
Also Read: How To Become a Swinger
Everyone becomes a swinger for different reasons. If you’ve been thinking about dipping your toe in the waters but were unsure up until now about your ‘Why’, hopefully, this article has cleared things up for you a little bit.
Just remember that swinging isn’t anything dirty – for many of us, it’s just another part of our everyday lives.