How To Convince Your Wife To Try Swinging?

So, you want to swing but your wife doesn’t? It’s a rough situation because – of course – you cannot go swinging without your wife. 

Moreover, you can’t force her to go swinging because that will damage the relationship completely.

And if you moaning about it in a bid to make her do something you want to?

That won’t work either. Swinging isn’t like joining you at the NBA game. It’s a very complex thing that needs careful consideration. 

In this article, I’m going to show the good ways you could get your wife to swing. I’m not saying that this article will completely swing things in your favour, but I’m going to offer a few tips you could use to convince your wife that swinging is something she should try. 

Why Your Wife Won’t Swing?

If you want to swing but your wife doesn’t, it might make you wonder what’s wrong with her. Why wouldn’t she want to go swinging? After all, swinging is ideal for sexually liberated couples who want to pursue pleasure in all its forms.

And if she loved you, she’d do this one thing for you, right? 

It’s not that simple.

For many people, the idea of swinging is still alien and still taboo. They’ve never once entertained the idea that their partner could have sex with another person. For them, a relationship is meant to be strictly monogamous.

And if the other person has desires to have sex with someone else? Well, it must mean they don’t love them enough.

So even if swinging seems like something you definitely want to try, bear in mind that it’s totally normal for your wife to have reservations. She’s a woman who loves you and this is possibly something very new to her. But just because she’s said ‘no’ to you already, that doesn’t mean the game is over. ‘No’ often means ‘not yet’.

Your existing relationship is not about only you. If one partner thinks swinging is unethical and will ruin the relationship, then respect their decision.

6 Tips to Convince Your Wife to Try Swinging

1. Explain Her Why Swinging Interests You 

If your wife has never seriously considered swinging before, she’ll need to know why you want to try it. Otherwise, she’ll assume – and the reasons she comes up with might be way off the mark.

For example, she might assume that you want to try swinging because she isn’t enough for you anymore. 

Spend some time explaining your point of view. You still love her, but you want to spice things up in the bedroom. Explain her different types of swinging that interests you.

Make sure she knows that swinging doesn’t involve making an emotional connection with other people. Swinging is purely sex. It’s not romantic; nobody falls in love. People just have sex with other people – that’s it. 

Also Read: Common Reasons Why Couple Swings

2. Reassure Her 

If you’re not a naturally jealous person, you might react badly if your wife tells you that she’d be jealous if you went swinging.

“I don’t want to see you have sex with another person. What if you end up fancying them more than me? What if you fall in love?”

You might think these are silly questions, and they might even annoy you. But you must see things from your wife’s point of view here. She needs to be reassured that she’s your number one priority. She needs to know she’s your soulmate and that you’ve thought this through rationally. You wouldn’t do anything to compromise what you have. 

Reassure her also that swinging is just sex. There’s no emotional connection, no falling in love. It’s just something for couples to do together. 

Also Read: How to become a swinger

3. Sign-Up On a Swinging Site

Lastly, if your wife is still undecided about swinging, you could invite her to sign up to a swingers site with you as a couple. Doing so will allow her to see for herself what the world of swinging is like.

She’ll be able to see that it really is just sex and fun, and that people like herself are doing it all the time. 

Moreover, the two of you should send and receive messages together. In this way, she won’t feel as though you’re hiding anything from her, which will help her to feel more confident about the whole thing.

4. Watch Adult Movies Together 

If the two of you haven’t even watched adult movies together, now is the time to do that. 

Watching adult movies are a great way to bring someone else into your sex life without really bringing them into it. Instead of getting turned on simply by each other, you’re now turned on by someone else (porn stars). 

Many couples watch porn together. Porn can help them come up with new ideas for sex moves and role play, and it can also help them to get aroused when perhaps their sex drive is otherwise a bit low. 

For swingers, group sex scenes can show you what’s possible with more than two people.

You don’t need to start off with hardcore adult movies but could instead try soft-core sex, such as Playboy TV. Either way, if your wife finds that she enjoys watching porn with you, it might encourage her to be more open-minded about swinging. 

Just choose adult movies that show swinging in a positive light and it will set things in motion.

5. Put Her Mind At Rest About The Risks 

As fun as it might sound to start swinging, there’s still no denying that there are inherent risks involved in swinging. And you must discuss these with your wife if you want to convince her to swing with you. 

For example, health risks. Anytime we have sex with someone we don’t know, there’s always the worry that we may contract an STI. STI’s are out there and, while swingers generally take precautions, there is still the risk.

To ease her fears on this front, remind her that you’ll take as much precaution as necessary. You will wear a condom and you’ll make sure the other people wear condoms. You will practice good hygiene, washing your hands before and after sex. 

Also, remind her that swingers are mature adults who do this often. If someone had an STI, they would either have been ‘blacklisted’ by now, or they would be mature enough not to start swinging.

There are, of course, emotional risks involved, too. I’ve already mentioned that your wife will need reassurance in regards to why you want to swing, and you must give her this. Let her know that you understand how she might be feeling and remind her that swinging is just sex and that you’re not looking for an emotional connection with anyone else. 

6. Establish Rules 

To overcome any resistance your wife might have when it comes to swinging, you should establish some swinging rules and boundaries with her. These rules will give her a bit of peace of mind and should make her feel more confident about the whole thing. 

For example, if she doesn’t want you to kiss anyone else the first time you go swinging, you can establish this as a rule.

Or, if you’re really into a particular couple but she’s not, she should be able to tell you and you’ll listen.

You could also establish rules for things such as penetration (will it be allowed the first time you go swinging?), anal sex, and whether or not you should have sex with the same couple twice. 

I always guard against having sex with the same couple twice because that sort of thing can create an unwanted emotional connection. 

Read: How To Set Your Personal Swinging Rules

7. Take Her to a Swinger’s Club or Party

Convince her to attend a swingers party or swinger’s club with you. It’s not essential to have sex there.

No one will force you.

But, when she will look at other couples having sex (soft swap, full swap), it’s guaranteed to evoke some feelings inside her. From there, either she will love to try swinging or hate it strongly.

Read: How to Find Swinger Parties Near You 


It’s not a certainty that your wife will accept the idea to try swinging. Some partners just don’t want it. For them, that’s totally uncool and you should show understanding and empathy. But if you’re desperate to try swinging, then try these tips to see if your wife is at all interested. Don’t force anything on but be open, communicative and understanding.