How To Find a Unicorn Woman For Swinging

Looking for a single female swinger? 

Female swingers are called Unicorns for the simple reason that they’re pretty damn rare at swinger parties. Thus, they’re pretty hard to find. 

When my partner and I first started swinging, we soon realised this was absolutely true. We wanted to have a naughty threesome with a smoking hot lady, but we couldn’t find one. 

And when we did find one, it wasn’t long before another couple got there first. 

But here’s the good news: Finding female swingers is not only possible, but actually kinda simple once you know what you’re doing (and where to look). In this article, I’m going to show you how to find Unicorns – and how to connect with them. 

Where to Find Unicorn Online? 

The truth is that it’s next-to-impossible to find a Unicorn in real life. They are out there but they’re pretty much hidden. And spotting one at a sex party is rare indeed and it means that it’s you versus lots of other couples trying to get her attention.

Instead, you can turn online. Here are some sites you can try:


I always recommend AdultFriendFinder to swingers, irregardless of what they’re looking for. It’s pure and simply the best hookup site on the Internet and has been for a number of years now. 

Here, you can search for potential hookups according to specific criteria – such as single females. 

You can also specify their ages and – once you’ve taken a look at their profiles – you can see exactly what their sexual preferences are.

Unicorns are on AFF but it might be awhile before you actually meet up with them. Like with any other hookup site, you need to spend a bit of time connecting with Unicorns online so that they trust you enough to want to meet up for sex. 

AFF is free to join but you will have to pay in order to send messages.


SwingerLifestyle is an online site dedicated to swingers. It’s where all the swinging action is happening, and there are plenty of profiles to browse.

Like AFF, SwingLifestyle is free to register an account, but you will need to pay in order to send messages. It’s worth it, though, because there are lots of Unicorns in and amongst the couples that use this site. 

Moreover, SwingLifestyle gives you the lowdown on all the sex parties that are happening near you, which you can then attend to meet Unicorns in real life. Like on AFF, your chances of success on Swinger Lifestyle are much improved if you upload good pictures of the two of you and fill out your profile so that people know what you’re looking for. 


Tinder is a bit more of a long shot when it comes to finding Unicorns online, but it’s free – so why not use it?

I definitely wouldn’t recommend that the male half of your partnership tries to land a Unicorn off here (although he can certainly give it a try). Instead, I recommend that the female half creates a profile and stipulates that she and her partner are looking for a single female to have some fun with. 


Feeld is a legit threesome app that’s absolutely ideal for finding Unicorns. The only snag is that it doesn’t have a huge amount of traffic. It’s still worth adding to your repertoire, though, and you can dip in and out to check your inbox. 

Can it work?

Yep – it’s worked for people in the past. Tinder is full of all kinds of people who want different things. As long as you make it clear in your bio what you’re looking for, and upload pics of the two of you, there’s no reason you can’t get results. 

Where to Find a Unicorn Real Life? 

Yep, Unicorns do leave the house from time to time! But while it’s pretty much impossible to find one in a bar, you could easily meet one at a swingers party. 

Now, the problem here is that Unicorns are so rare at sex parties that it’s usually one Unicorn for every 10 – 15 couples.

This means that if you and several other couples want a threesome, it’s going to be pretty damn hard to persuade the sole Unicorn to join you and your partner.

So what do you do?

First, you can use swinger hookup sites like Adult Friend Finder and Swinger Lifestyle to find the swinger sex parties that are happening near you. You can also find these parties via people who work at your local sex shop. 

Once you’ve arrived at a swinger party you then need to … 

Make a Connection With Unicorns 

Be Fun!

What’s the number one reason a Unicorn is at a sex party in the first place? To make friends? To find love? 

Nope. It’s to have F.U.N! 

It’s really important that you and your partner show a Unicorn that you’re up for some naughty fun and games. Don’t be shy, don’t hold back.

Be Friendly 

In other words, don’t be rude. 

Be personable and open, talkative and friendly. Be a regular, normal human being and act like you would if you were chatting to someone at a ‘normal’ party. 

Be Flirty 

There’s nothing wrong with flirting with someone at a swinger party. In fact, it’s very much encouraged! 

So make sure you and your partner go into this with your best flirting game on. 

Be Confident

A Unicorn wants to make sure that you know what you’re doing sexually. Otherwise, it’s no dice and she’ll move onto a couple who does know what they’re doing.

An easy way of showing anyone you’ve got game in the bedroom is to exude confidence during the initial conversation.

Get The Woman To Show Interest

From experience (and judging by the experience of others), Unicorns are a lot less receptive when the man is doing all the chatting, while the woman is holding back. 

Unicorns are ALWAYS more interested when the female leads the conversation.

Why? It’s probably Unicorns are (generally) bisexual. They want to see that the woman is up for this, and they want confirmation that the woman is going to give them a good time.

The guy? Yeah, they can probably take or leave him 😉 

Turn Up Well Groomed 

It goes without saying that you should turn up to any party looking your best. Yet a lot of newbies seem to forget that this rule applies to sex parties. 

Do not under any circumstances turn up wearing a BDSM outfit or anything of the like, as it will get you nowhere with a Unicorn. 

Instead, be smart, smell nice and own the room. 

I won’t lie – finding and connecting with Unicorns isn’t easy. That’s why they’re called Unicorns after all! 

But as long as you go to the right places and do the right things, you can land a red hot single female who wants some threesome fun.

Use the tips in this article. Get online, make connections, be friendly, be flirty – and don’t be creepy or rude.

And if a Unicorn isn’t interested and goes off with another couple instead? Get over it and move on.