How To Become a Swinger? (Swinging Advice)

Does the idea of having sex with other couples excite you?

Sounds like swinging lifestyle might be for you.

The swinger lifestyle is perfect for adventurous couples who love each other, but who also want to let others give their bedroom antics a bit of a jolt. Basically, non-monogamy in the form os swinging, open relationship, and polyamory.

Sexual arrangements are mutual; everything is done on the understanding that both partners agree, and – for many couples – the relationship improves as a result. 

The sex life, meanwhile, can become red hot. 

But swinging can seem foreboding and even completely nerve-wracking when you’ve never tried it before. No one who dips their toe into the swinging water for the first time really knows what’s going to happen, and it’s impossible to see if it’s for you or not until you’ve tried it.

But if your curiosity has been piqued and you’re thirsting to know how to become a swinger, join us as we take a look at the in’s and out’s of this intoxicating lifestyle. 

What Is Swinging? 

When a couple decides to find either a single person or another couple to have sex with is called swinging. Sometimes, they’ll engage in group sex, sometimes they’ll swap partners, and sometimes they’ll do it with a small group (the couple + a single person), or they’ll go to a swinger’s party. 

Swinging can be done randomly, casually, or you can arrange to meet-up beforehand with someone you’ve gotten to know offline or online. 

Swinging is entirely mutual – you give your partner permission to have sex with someone else, and they give you permission to do the same. Or, maybe you just want to watch your partner have sex with another person, but maybe you want to join in as well. 

7 Steps For Becoming a Swinger

For swinging to work, then, trust is essential. But what else is needed? Let’s take a look. 

1. Have a Conversation With Your Partner

Before you go ahead and start planning swinging events to go to, it’s important that you have a proper conversation with your partner.

By ‘proper’ I mean covering all the in’s and out’s.

See, it’s important that you’re both on the same page here. If you rush into swinging without listening to your partner’s concerns beforehand, things will get messy and whole experience will not feel comfortable. 

When I started swinging, I made sure I understood my partner’s needs and what she wanted to get out of it. I made sure she understood my needs, too. 

We also discussed our fears and anxieties, such as what could make us jealous and would our relationship suffer if we went through with this. 

If your conversation leads to a bit of a dead-end, a good first step is to watch some pornography together. This will help you engage how the other person reacts when sex is suddenly between you and ‘someone else,’ and it can thus determine how jealous either of you might feel if you had sex with other people. 

Also, don’t be scared to consult a sex therapist.

2. Understand Your ‘Why’

We all have reasons for doing things, and it’s that you both understand why you want to be a swinger. 

Is it because your sex life is boring to you at the moment?

Is it perhaps something you’ve always wanted to do, but you’ve never had the right partner for it before? 

Or maybe the two of you are looking to heal an unsteady relationship at the moment. If this is the case, I would definitely recommend that you think twice before swinging.

Swinging lifestyle is not for couples who are constantly fighting. Swinging will not mend a fractured relationship! 

The most common reason is that couples wanting to bring more fun to their sex lives.

Here’s the 15 Common Reasons Why Couple Swings.

3. Set Clear Boundaries or Rules

Even if you share some of the same sexual preferences as your partner, there will naturally be some things you disagree on. 

Before you head to a couple swinger party, swinger cruise or swinger resort, make sure you’ve laid down a few ‘ground rules’ first. This will help to prevent any possible arguments later on, and it will ensure that your first swinging experience is as enjoyable as it should be.

For example, maybe you want your partner to be in the same room as you while you have sex, or maybe you don’t. 

And when one of you decides they want to go home, you need to decide beforehand whether the other partner is obligated to join them there and then. 

For instance, a lot of couples don’t like engaging with one partner only. Most couples want full-swap.

4. Get a Feel For What Swinging Is 

Swinging means different things to different people. I had myself a few disagreements with my partner over what it is, for example.

As such, it’s a really smart idea to do a bit of research online and chat with other, more experienced swingers from swinger community. 

Alternatively, you could just read swingers stories to find out more about what goes on at swinging events. Stories will help to set expectations in your mind, and they’ll also help you overcome any concerns you’ve got at the moment. 

But in general, talking to other people about their experience gives you the chance to ask a few questions that will help you get off to a better start. 

5. Find the Right Swinger Website 

When you’ve decided to take the first step to become a swinger, it’s time to find a swingers website.

There are a lot out there at the moment, and some are way better than others. 

A good rule of thumb to apply when looking for the best swingers sites is to check Reddit. Reddit is populated by users who field questions that are then answered by the huge swingers community. Generally, if a website gets repeated thumbs up on Reddit, you know it’s legit. 

You could also try Quora, which works in a similar way to Reddit.

To verify any recommended swingers site, find detailed, trustworthy reviews on Google. You should check out popular, legit adult dating site review websites, as these will give you the scoop on swingers sites. 

In my own personal experience, SwingLifestyle is a safe, secure, and even fun and great place to meet like-minded couples, and so is Adult Friend Finder. On AFF, you can also find plenty of single people who are looking to have fun with couples. 

You can, of course, overlook the need to find a website first and go straight to a live swinger party. But chatting to other couples online eases you into the process, and it’s an excellent way of ‘vetting’ people before you meet them. 

Check here my favourite swinger websites.

6. Search For Swinger Parties

Swingers often host parties where only swingers community or people who are interested in swinging come. There you get to meet plenty of swingers.

On your first night at party, you can choose to just walk around and notice. You don’t necessarily have to indulge in sex and have sexual partners.

Not only that, just like regular parties, food & drinks are also served. Which means you can get the hang of environment around you without getting extremely nervous.

If you like & feel what you see, then you can give your first swinging experience a go. Check here how to find swinger parties near you.

7. Go to a Swingers Club

The final step is to either rearrange to meet another couple or single person at a swinger club or to just go to one with your partner. 

Depending on where you live, it’s highly likely that there are plenty of swinger clubs in your local area (more than you realize!). A simple online search will yield a few results, and you can check the reviews to make sure the clubs are legit.

Then, decide on a date, pick an outfit – and head out. 

In this post, I’ve shared my secret to find swingers near you.

Takeaway:

Sex is sex – it’s not rocket science. 

However, swinging can have emotional consequences on you and your partner if you don’t do the right things.

Use the tips in this article to become a swinger. For first time swingers, find the right websites, chat with other couples, get a feel for what swinging means to you and your partner, before donning your sexiest outfits and hitting the clubs and parties. 

Just make sure you know what you’re getting into and establish boundaries with your swinging partners.

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