Swinging is fun, sexy and a little bit naughty.
But w can also be pretty dangerous.
I don’t want to scare anyone off swinging with this article, and I don’t want to make the swinging world seem high-risk. But whenever you meet any stranger for sex, there are always things to be cautious of, such as your health and the fact that, well, you’ve never met this person before. Can you trust them?
Swinging adds other dangers into the mix. For example, there are emotional risks because there are more people involved. Swinging isn’t just a free and single person looking for a one night stand. It’s a happily married couple who are inviting someone else into their sex life.
So, it can be pretty perilous. But how perilous? In this article, I’m going to share with you the dangers of swinging so that you can make up your mind whether or not you want to become a swinger or not.
3 Severe Dangers of Swinging
1. Health Dangers
We all know that hookup culture is inherently risky. Each time we hookup with a stranger we met online, we’re putting our sexual health at risk.
Yes, we could protect ourselves by purchasing protection beforehand. But when we’re aroused, how likely are we to use it? Condoms break and when two people are hot and horny, they may just throw caution to the wind and plough ahead.
With swinging, the same risks to your health exist – but they also exist for your partner, too. All of a sudden, there are more responsibilities. Health risks include Herpes, crabs and even HIV.
That said, while the stakes might seem higher in the swinging world, this isn’t necessarily true. Yes, each couple you meet at a sex party has probably had sex with other couples in the past They’ve probably hooked up numerous times. But swinging isn’t some debauched sex orgy where no one takes precautions.
It’s also not illicit, casual sex down an alleyway.
Everyone involved is usually very careful with their sexual health. They want to have fun, and they don’t want to get infected.
So, generally you can trust swingers. But you must always protect yourself because sexual health is a serious subject. Once you get sick yourself, your life as a swinger is over.
2. Emotional Dangers
A one night stand when you were single might have made you feel pretty lousy and full of regret in the morning. Your head throbbing and the room spinning, you may have been covered with shame as you surveyed the scene: Messy bed sheets, spilled beer bottles, empty pizza boxes.
Oh, and a stranger in your bed. Damn.
But while such an incident can wreak a bit of havoc on your emotional wellbeing, the game is completely different when you and your partner are engaging in a hookup together.
In other words, can you both hack it? Can you cope with the fact that your partner is having sex with someone else? Will this take a toll on your relationship, or can you get over it?
Here are some thoughts:
If your relationship has been fraught with stress and tension recently, swinging is not a good idea. Some couples think that swinging can spice up their sex life and put some fun back into their flagging relationship. This rarely – if ever – works out.
If your relationship is currently suffering from some turbulence, it’s a much better idea to seek counselling. Swinging is an emotional highway for couples who have already considered separating. It could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Communication is key in any relationship. If the two of you have spoken at length about swinging, and have actively listened to each other and understand where you’re both coming from, swinging could work.
On the other hand, if communication has always been an issue, I would say avoid swinging. There’s so much at stake. What happens if your partner accuses you of something during a sex party and you get defensive? Suddenly, an argument erupts.
If neither of you are good at handling arguments, swinging isn’t a good idea. On the other hand, if your relationship is built on a solid platform of communication, make sure to go over all the potential pros and cons before taking the plunge.
Jealousy is another issue.
Does your partner get jealous easily? Have they shown signs of jealousy in the past? It’s one thing to get a bit jealous over a meaningless text, and quite another to witness our partner having sex with someone else.
Some couples think they have the mental strength to deal with it. But when it happens, they can’t get the images out of their heads, and the relationship suffers as a result. If you do start swinging together, make sure the two of you are 100% sure you won’t get jealous.
Lastly, trust plays a huge role here.
Do you trust your partner unequivocally? Do they trust you?
How much do you trust them? And what kind of rules are you going to set when you start swinging?
See, when you go to a swinger party, you need to clearly define some boundaries. In other words, what you will and will not do. It might be okay to have a threesome, for example, but you might decide it’s not okay to for your partner to go and have sex with someone else without you being present.
If they then break that trust during the party, it’s going to cause a rupture.
I’ve seen situations where a one half of a couple got along with someone new at a sex party, but the other half didn’t. In fact, the other half really didn’t like this new person. But because no rule had been created beforehand that stipulated neither could make a friend with anyone whom the other person disliked, arguments ensued. The half who liked this person wanted to keep them as a friend, while the other said they weren’t comfortable with it.
It made for a messy situation.
Lots of things happen at sex parties. ‘Rules’ sometimes go out of the window and people get carried away. It’s only if you trust your partner 100% that you should start swinging.
Otherwise, the danger is always there that they will break your trust forever.
3. Social Dangers
When I speak about social dangers, I’m talking about the risk of being exposed in your social circles as a swinger.
Myself, I’ve never been ashamed of my lifestyle. But I still don’t want certain people – my family, in particular – knowing about this aspect of my life. I enjoy it, I want to tell people about it – but I know I shouldn’t. And that’s because quite a lot of people in our society still haven’t accepted swinging.
The danger of being outed as a swinger is very real. It happens and some people can’t deal with the shame.
Why? Because swinging is still seen as a taboo in mainstream society. It’s seen as being ‘dirty’ and people continue to judge the lifestyle.
I have a friend who’s cheated on his wife. He’s also snorted cocaine off a hooker’s backside, gambled away all his savings … and yet he was stunned when I told him I was a swinger.
“Man, that’s just crazy,” he said.
Swinging is crazy? But gambling, having an affair and taking drugs isn’t?
It sounds mad, but this is indicative of how swinging is seen in our ‘modern’ society.
So I would definitely say that the social risk is super high, and you must therefore be very careful about who you tell.
In fact, my suggestion is that you don’t tell anyone except your close friends who you trust 100% not to blab.
At the same time, you can’t control all social risk. You may bump into someone at a sex party who has a mutual friend. And they might then tell all to that mutual friend, which means your secret is revealed.
Or, you might be spotted popping into a sex shop with your partner or meeting up with ‘well-known’ swingers in a bar.
I’m not saying you will be outed as a swinger. I never have (not fully, anyway). But the risk is there, and you need to decide whether or not it’s worth it.
I hope this article hasn’t put you off swinging, because that was never my intention. Instead, the article should help you make a better, more rounded decision regarding whether or not swinging is for you.
The health risks are there, but they can be covered by getting to know your fellow swingers before engaging in a sexual act with them.
The emotional risks, however, need to be properly weighed up before you take the plunge. Via good communication with your partner, you can get an idea of how much emotional stress swinging will or will not add to your lives.
The social risk, on the other hand, could go either way. As long as you keep your swinging lifestyle to yourself and avoid places that might attract attention (sex shops, strip clubs etc), you should be okay.
Ultimately, swinging is a case of risk and reward. If the odds are on your side, I’d say go for it and have a good time.
And, hey, risk is always sexy, right?