13 Things You Need to Know Before You Attend a Swingers Party

Going to a swingers party for the first time isn’t easy. I mean, there’ll be sex, naked people and possibly a bondage whip somewhere. Gulp! 

It’s not anything like that first trip to a nightclub you made when you were 18. 

I was like you. When I first went to a swingers party, I had no idea what to expect. Well, I kind of did – I assumed there’d be naked people and that everyone would be jumping on each other, satisfying their carnal cravings until the sun came up. 

And just thinking about all that made me nervous as heck! 

But was it anything like that? And what can you expect from your first swingers party? But before I cover that, let’s first talk about swingers party itself. So…

What are Swingers Parties?

It’s a party where people in committed relationships show up and have sex with other couples. However, like other regular parties, there are drinks, snacks, and conversation between people before they actually engage in any sexual activity.

You can read how to find swinger parties near you. Now, let me separate fact from fiction by taking a look at…

13 things you need to know before you attend a swingers party. 

1. Don’t Be Scared

It sounds easy for me to say this, but the number one rule is Don’t Be Scared. 

Swingers parties aren’t intimidating at all. People are there to have fun, have a good time, and – yes – take all their clothes off.

Really, what’s so scary about a bunch of people drinking champagne, getting naked and having sex? It’s meant to be fun! And it really is. 

2. It Might Not Be As Amazing As In The Movies 

Are there any swingers scenes in the movies? One springs to my mind – the scene in Eyes Wide Shut, where Tom Cruise is surrounded by a bevy of hot naked women.

Anyway, my point is that, while swingers parties are super fun and hot, you mustn’t fall into the trap of raising your expectations too high. Everyone is cool and open, but not everyone looks like Salma Hayek or Brad Pitt. 

Keep your expectations low so that you’re not disappointed. You’ll have more fun that way, too. 

3. Stay Protected 

Before you head to the party, make sure you’ve bought protection. Most people at swingers’ events are strangers, and most of them will be having sex tonight. 

However, they won’t be having sex with a total stranger who isn’t protected!

Safety always comes first. Make sure you’re protected, otherwise you won’t be getting lucky. 

4. Be Normal (Because Everyone Else Is)

I’ll hold my hands up and admit that I expected to walk through the door and be greeted by something that resembled a scene from a Gothic horror movie. I pictured women wearing leather and men walking around drinking beer while wearing dog tags. 

Also Read: Tips For First Time Swinging.

5. I also expected the conversation to be weird. 

It wasn’t anything like that. Instead, everyone was perfectly normal! They all had normal jobs, and they were all respectable people who are perhaps more open-minded than the rest of society when it comes to sex and taboos

So, yeah. When you go to a swingers party, make sure that you act normally. You know, don’t turn up dressed as Dracula. 

6. Be Courteous 

Just because people go to a swingers party to have sex with couples, that doesn’t mean everyone is super easy. If someone clearly isn’t interested in you, back off. Be respectful.

Yes, swingers are more open-minded than most people, but everyone has tastes and personal boundaries. Be courteous at all times and do not offend, insult, or push people to do something they don’t want to do. 

7. A Swingers Party Is A Party! 

It’s true – a swingers party is a party!

What I mean by this is that you shouldn’t turn up expecting to get naked straight away. Also, don’t feel under pressure to act any differently than you would at any other house party. 

Sure, people are here to get naked at some point, but they’re also here to have a chat, have a laugh, and have a drink. 

So relax and take it easy! 

8. You’ll Probably Be Getting Naked. 

What’s the point in going to a swingers party if you don’t get naked?!

At some point in the evening, you will probably get naked. You might even have sex. So be prepared!

In other words, wear your sexiest underwear. The last thing you want is to be wandering around the joint in your Hawaiian boxers, am I right? 

9. You Could Just Watch 

If you arrive and decide that – actually – you’re not up for having full sex tonight, you can just watch it. 

The general rule is that newbies can watch others have sex, but seasoned swingers have to get naked and have sex. If they don’t, they must go home. 


Well, this is a swingers party! If people weren’t swinging, the party would be deemed a failure, and no one would come back a second time. 

So, you could get away with watching the first time, but you’ll need to participate the second time. 

Sound fair? 

10. Take a Bottle 

As mentioned, a swingers party is a party, which means that you should conform to party etiquette.

In other words, take a bottle. 

I’d recommend taking either a bottle of wine or a bottle of champagne. Champagne is very popular at swingers parties, but a cheaper bottle of wine will do fine. 

Don’t turn up with a six-pack of Bud, though. That’s a big no-no (as I found out!). 

Also Read: Find Common Reasons Why Couple Swings

11. There Are Different Rooms 

Generally, swingers parties contain different rooms that cater to different tastes. There are, for example, sensory rooms that are ideal for those who prefer to watch, while a popular room is the ‘dungeon’ that’s – as you can guess – aimed at couples who want to indulge in a bit of bondage. 

There are also sex toys here, there, and everywhere that you can use whenever you feel like it.

Just walk around and explore. 

12. Learn The Language 

Yep, swingers have their own little language. Knowing the keywords will help you a lot before you arrive at the party. 

For example, ‘play’ refers to any type of sexual activity, while ‘hard swap’ means partners are willing to swap their partners for someone else’s partner to engage in full sex with. 

A ‘soft swap’ also refers to couples swapping their partners around but not for full, penetrative sex. 

‘Unicorns,’ meanwhile, are single women at the party. 

Single Men Aren’t Really Allowed 

Single women are referred to as ‘Unicorns’ because they’re a rare sight at a swingers party, and people love to see them!

However, single men are even rarer and – generally speaking – aren’t usually invited. Sorry, guys. 

13. You Might Not Have Sex 

Earlier, I said that you could just watch if you prefer. But even if you want to have sex, that doesn’t mean you will have sex. 

Essentially, you could still get rejected at a swingers party. Hey, it sucks, but it’s not the end of the world, and you mustn’t take it personally. There’s always next time, and you can still have fun watching in the meantime 🙂

Also Read: How To Find & Meet Swingers Near You


Swingers parties are super fun, super sexy, and super open. Anything goes. 

As long as you follow the tips in this article and are a normal, decent, and sexy human being, you will have a ball. 

One last thing: Underwear is optional. 

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